I made God cry.
my body is weak. I am not saying that I am dying but i know that my body is really weak. any deadly contagious virus could attack my body, alter my cells and make my body weak. whatever. my immune system is no good. it is weird that a nursing student is unhealthy. a student who want’s to help unhealthy people someday must have a good health status.
life is short. I may only have a little time left.
i have only realize that life is really short when i realized that my body is weak and that i may have a little time left. we don’t know the exact time when are we gonna die, right? others keep saying that life is really short but the truth is, they really don’t believe it. how come they are still wasting their lives? how come they are still attached to material things, career, fame or whatever? how come that others still don’t know themselves? life was taken for granted of other people. time has taken for granted. both are being wasted all the time.
back when i was in high school with less school works and pressure, i had a lot of time with god. i go to Sunday masses and listen attentively. i talk to god always especially when i am feeling down. i pray always. i visit Carmelite, the most wonderful church and the most miraculous one I’ve ever been into. i must say, that church has made some of my wishes come true. i just prayed, lit some candles and visit every now and then with my mom.
when i stepped into college. everything has changed. i became focused on the material things, school works or anything that would make a typical college student busy. in short, i took life and time for granted. awful.
this is the most honest part of this post and that took me a lot of gulps to admit this truth about me:
i made myself very distant to god. yes, i go to Sunday masses but i just chat with my bf. i don’t participate attentively. i don’t pray always because i was busy with my school, with my laptop or with my TV. i don’t read the bible anymore because i was busy surfing the Internet, reading teen books or reading magazines. i don’t talk to him every minute of the day like i used to because i was too busy chatting with my friends about the newest gossips, or busy texting/chatting through ym/ phone talks with my friends. i forgot the tasks that everyone should do. looking for the real matters in life. that we must be finding the most important things in our lives. one of them is of course, LOVE.
*it’s not that what i have been doing that make me busy are wrong. i just ignored the fact that i was being far with god and still continue with what i have been doing.
i hate myself for this but i took god for granted.
admitting this made my voice crack and made my eyes become watery. i was close with the most important being that a person can have and yet i took him for granted. ;c
how could i take god for granted? he’s the one who gave me the strength when i was about to give up. he’s the one who made me smile with the small miracles he gave me. he gave me joy and laughter. he is the best BFF that i have.
i know i still have a chance. i still have time. it’s not too late.
i know you think that i am such a bad person, think whatever you wanna think. but i am still thankful. i think god sent me an instrument that will make me go back for him. it’s like i was almost falling on a building and then someone held my hand and save me. i almost cut the string attached between god and i.
many of us are attached to the wrong culture but believe me, it will do no good. i think the best way is to make your own culture. a culture that won’t make you far from god but will make you more closer to him.
"once you learned how to die, you’ll know how to live." -Tuesdays with Morrie
gyk (JAYK) is currently residing at angeles city, pampanga here in the philippines, she's also taking up BS Nursing at AUF. she's 18 y/o and doesn't care with her grammar. she is proud to say that she's in a relationship with a wonderful guy. she loves sweets (but who doesn't?) and coffee. internet and watching dvds makes her boredom get out of her way. she is addicted to tv series like gossip girl, OTH and house, m.d. music soothes her. she barely send sms/text messages. she just only text her bf. ;). she loves critics, it's either she'll take it positively or laugh about it. she lives her life the way she wants it to be. for her, nothing beats spending time with her loved ones and lastly, she sees to it that god is always on the top of her list. 
you still have time
you still have chance
hayaan mo
isasama kita sa fellowship
ipagpre pray over kita
biro lang
you have to take care of yourself
we need you
happy new year
December 27th, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Alam mo for me, since guilty din ako like you… Ang pagiisip ko naman ay kahit na hindi ako masyado nagdadasal or nakikipagusap sa Kanya I still make it a point to practice His words… Yun naman ang importante para sa akin kahit na ilang beses ka pa makipagusap o makita sa simbahan actively participating pero pag labas mo naman sa simbahan para bang nakalimutan mo yung words ni God wala rin kwenta. Kaya minsan naiinis ako sa mga nagyaya sa akin sumali sa mga Bible study tapos pag titignan ko naman yung ugali nila e parang hindi naman sila affected dun sa mga Bible studies nila… parang walang pagbabago… parang feel ko ginagamit lang nila tuloy si God. Yun ang mas pangit
Happy new year pala!
Buti naman naisipan mo bumalik sa blogging, nakakamiss din kasi mga posts mo e
Welcome back!
December 28th, 2007 at 12:19 am
Yes, it’s not too late. His love is unconditional and I’m sure He will take you back with open arms.
Ganyan na ganyan din ang nafeel ko noon. Hehe.
New look nanaman ng blog?
December 28th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Hey… hadn’t realized until now that your blog is back up. Ah, nice.
Hmm… you know that saying, “Live your life as if it was the last day”? It guides my actions on a day-to-day basis. You have to also ask yourself every day (and before you do something) if you’ve lived your life well… and righteous. I remind myself: If I was going to die today… will I be ready for God’s final judgment?
December 28th, 2007 at 3:04 pm
*hugs*
I don’t know what’s going on, but I hope you get better soon!
And your immune system builds up.
As long as you’re still breathing, you have a chance.
It seems like “this” has opened your eyes to what’s really important.
That, at least, is a good thing.
P.S.
My blog link is “/blog.php” now.
December 28th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
hello gyk.. bkit naman gyk ang name mo…?? hehehe.. ako rin pag kelangan ko ng help.. punta ako dito sa ngaun.. di muna.. hehehe.. merry xmas
December 29th, 2007 at 7:27 am
well, life would be pretty boring if it were long, right? :]]
hmmmm. i guess we’ve all had those days, the ones when we forget God :\
but it just really helps to know that He’s forgiving, and He gives us infinite chances as long as we are sincere.
thanks for dropping by my blog :] can i add you to my links?
tc
December 29th, 2007 at 10:31 am
i soo missed reading your blog!
ako rin medyo hindi kami bati ni God these days.. at xempre it’s my fault! ahe.. i’m trying to find my way back to Him.. well, it’s not that easy.. but like you, i know that i still have a chance and i still have time.. ciao!
December 29th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Don’t worry yourself too much about drifting away from God. It happens to everyone, even the most faithful.
A long time ago, I abandoned the notion that there was any sort of higher power and spent the next 25 years actively denying His existence. Then, something major happened in my life (a story too long to tell here) and I found my way back. Now, I’m considering going into the ministry.
That’s the wonderful thing about God, though. We’re all prodigal sons, and he’s always the father waiting to rush out and greet us when we return home. He forgives and forgets.
Thank God for that.
December 29th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
Hi gyk! Ako din guilty ‘coz medyo nagiging busy at medyo nati-take forgranted yung dating nakagawian but I know God is so good He always make sure na kapag napapalayo na ako may tapik na siya sa likod ko and ganun din Siya sa’yo.
Happy New Year! God bless you!
December 29th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Pareho tayo Ate. Masyado na akong naging busy sa mga materyal na bagay. Hindi na ako nakakapagsimba dahil dito, mahirap makapasok sa lugar kung saan may Catholic Church. Kailangan ng sponsor. Pero bumabawi ako sa gabi o kahit papatulog na ako. Basta kinakausap ko si God.
Sabi ng Mama ko, kapag daw nakakalimutan na natin si God, gagawa daw Siya ng isang bagay na ikagugulat natin. Ibig sabihin daw nun eh kinakatok na niya yung heart natin. hehe. wala lang nasabi ko lang.
Happy New Year Ate!
December 29th, 2007 at 8:22 pm
That’s a true post and it reflects something that most of us do. Well I know I do. I remember being close to God a few years ago. Once I started college I became so obsessed with school work and my social life I drifted away from that. Anyways, I hope your immune system builds up and everything goes well for you. Life is short yes, most of us don’t realize it until something happens to us.
December 29th, 2007 at 10:17 pm
welcome back!
the good thing is God will always be there waiting for you to have time for him again. you still have a lot of time. make the most out of it.
December 30th, 2007 at 7:33 am
Papa God is very forgiving. I know he’ll give us a chance.
at least i wasn’t the only one who’s making Him cry. c:
December 30th, 2007 at 11:58 am
yeah!
God is a God of second chances.
He still waits until you come.
it’s not about religion and good works but it’s a matter of how you accept and follow Christ in your everyday life.
Start your relationship with HIM with these 3 A’s
Approach God.
Admit and forsake all the sins you’ve done.
Accept HIM as ur personal LORD and Savior. (LORD means MASTER- we have no ryt to do things that are against to HIm.)
and start living according to His will.
have a blessed 2008 po!!
December 31st, 2007 at 11:11 am